I have been having the most incredible ride, WRITING! My book is entitled This Is Not Your Mother’s Wedding, A Guide for the Divinely Modern Bride. It is a witty, it is endearing, it is informational. It’s not a guide with deadlines and time lines, because guess what?…you already have all that. It’s called your INTUITION. That same clock that ticks when it’s time to have a baby…it ticks all the time, telling you when it’s the right time and when it’s the wrong time to make decisions. And constantly reminding you that all the decisions belong to you, despite all the trends and “up to the minute” advice you are surrounded by.
Yet, sometimes with all the pressures of the wedding industry, it’s hard to hear that little voice, that inner clock. The one that tugs at you in the most critical moments. Sometimes it’s the one we ignore. Yet, it’s the one we almost always regret ignoring.
My book is about rising above those pressures, and staying true to what you want, especially as you approach your wedding. So here’s a little look a what is to come, Divinely Modern Bride. This is an abridged teaser of Chapter 2, Rockin’ the Rock. Enjoy! And I’ll keep you posted on the release!
Rockin’ the Rock
My mother says I didn’t open my eyes for eight days after I was born, but when I did, the first thing I saw was an engagement ring. I was hooked. Elizabeth Taylor
It’s real! You are engaged! You can’t keep your eyes off the rock as you are driving, working out, clicking your keyboard, hailing a cab. You are awestruck when the stone catches the sunlight and shines like fire. You have suddenly become more expressive with your hands, especially your left hand. Your new photo pose always seems to include the back of your left hand. You are on top of the world.
It is now time to begin PLANNING YOUR WEDDING. You are a smart woman. This should be a cinch. The 21st century Divinely Modern Bride has conquered much larger tasks than planning a wedding. She finished graduate school third in her class; she made partner in her firm before turning 28; she teaches quantum physics on the college level; she is an editor at Harpers; she manages employees twice her age; she co-founded a wildly successful web based business. So why does planning a wedding seem so overwhelming?
Because it is. Before that rock even takes on the warmth of your body heat, it feels like everyone under the sun who has anything to do with weddings, is pressuring you to buy this, order that, try those, and reserve these. You are told that you must set a date right away and if you don’t order your dress by a certain date, you’ll never get a dress. You are told that you better make a decision fast, or your date will get booked by some other bride. You are deluged with timelines, dates, and deadlines. But you are a divinely modern bride…so you will shut out all of those voices and pressures and find some silence (perhaps during a lovely massage or facial).
When you arrive at that silent, sacred place that is yours alone, listen to your own voice. The one that all women have, the one we sometimes allow to get drowned out by all the other voices. I promise she’s in there. She’ll guide you on exactly how to go about planning your divinely modern wedding. She told you to buy this book, so she knows what she talking about, trust me.
Now, just like you visualized and put yourself and all your senses into the marriage proposal back in Chapter 1, you are going to that same place with your wedding. What season do you want it to take place in? Are you seeing a crisp sunny winter day? You in that vintage fur stole you always dreamed about, bridesmaids in midnight blue matte satin with those precious stretch velvet shrugs, your winter white bouquet chock full of snow berries, pearl studded stephanotis, and fragrant gardenia, your man in an impeccable tux with a sexy white satin double Windsor knot tie, and to top it all off you fly away to a deliciously warm tropical resort.
Perhaps you are feeling a springtime wedding? Late May, when the weather is not too hot nor too cold. You are wearing that beautiful short white shift you have been eyeing because you know it is the perfect dress for you, even though mom purses her lips when you mention it. Your legs are tanned to perfection (via self tanner of course—no sun damage for the DMB) and your gorgeous light blue jeweled Louboutins are visible to all. You carry a mass of plump succulent white peonies, and your bridesman (so your BFF is a guy, this is the 21st century after all) is wearing the most beautiful white lilac boutonniere on his Brioni jacket. You gather for a celebration dinner on the patio of your favorite bistro overlooking the river while sipping Perrier Jouet poured from those pretty flowered bottles, as the jazz trio you went to see on your first date together fills the air with sultry sounds. Then, off to Quebec City for a romantic getaway with your new hubby.
Or are you a summer bride? A beach ceremony unwinding during the perfect sunset, you and your bridal party framed by a gorgeous natural branch arbor fashioned with panels of gauzy fabric undulating in the soft breeze, and glass cylinders chock full of flickering pillar candles down the aisle. Your groom looks so dashing in his white linen shirt and Italian cut natural linen trousers as he locks his gaze on you gliding down the warm sand aisle carrying unkempt cattleya orchids and wearing that Claire Pettibone dress you have been daydreaming about. The energy is intoxicating as guests anticipate an evening of dancing wildly under the stars to reggae and calypso beats till dawn.
Finally, you, DMB, may be turned on by autumn breezes. A picturesque winery in late October, when the leaves are at their multicolored peak, you are wearing the ivory lace gown you fell in love with, nana’s vintage choker around your swanlike neck. The winery is abundant with antique hydrangea, amaranthus, dahlias, rosemary, artichokes, figs… and soft candlelight bathes every nook and cranny of the stone encrusted space. The fireplace is crackling. You have arranged for your symphony’s virtuoso to play a Bach Chaccone in D minor on the piano as you process, and it has begun to rain softly over the mountains outside. As you stand before the man of your dreams, encircled by your loved ones, with rain hitting the fallen leaves outside of the picture windows, you feel like you are wrapped in a cocoon of loving warmth.
Now, isn’t it so much more pleasurable to look inward instead of outward to visualize your dream wedding? You may not be a wedding planner, or even creative for that matter…but you know you better than anyone else does. Once you have done that initial visualization and can feel what season you want your wedding to take place in, the path becomes clear to set a date and for the planning to fall perfectly into place.